In retrospection one can find all kind of emotions. It doesn't matter whether people u drowned are still alive what matters is how u come up with it. What course of sail will u follow for ur ship.
Am going to leave my college in just a month or so from now...Am i already feeling the things am going to miss, the things i missed or is this feeling of being void from inside comes out just like that. Another thought...another crash as i say.

Though these four years or so have been both blissful and painful. But, still I think it carried me a lot into the thinkers. Met all kind of people here sadists, optimistics, misogynist, emotional fools and etc etc....I still dont categorize myself just coz of the fact i still think am a mixture of many different phases from time to time or u can call me predictibly unpredictable guy.

Right now i feel something is going to be empty sonner or later. I remember my school farewell which i missed but even seeing the video made me sad. Well i follow everything to the last bell but still to be practical i can come up with zilch names to stand with again. It always happen.

Am i going to miss the college so much...NAH, ofcourse not, but thinking of the people i m going to sends a thunderstrike through my spine. Am not emotional enough, atleast this is what people tell me and i think they r wrong and this writing is a proof of that. To Cp ill miss u sumtimes coz our mode of comm will still be the same. To the fight club gang i will miss u all too just coz i spent the most astonishing time of my life with u. astonishing in the sense no body else culd have survived the punishment and we morons we transformed it into a crossroads of deeds...nice work guys and gals. that was the time wen i realized what it is to live with burden all the time. Yeah how can i forget the thinkers....u will be missed too.

The four years gave me a psychic power to some extent. Its always nice to have a sense of something bad to happen b4 hand, although in my cases it didn't do me any good but still...

When u need something badly u will get it mostly but as far as i go the things i wanted badly leave me at the earliest possible crash signs. It had a demonic effect on me. I became sober. Transformations are good and necessary else life is too baked to spend time with. Be it roses or thorns, u should have it in you to hate urself and change urself...irony is nobody gets what am talking bout...well its more of fresh water spring from the volcanoes.

I believe few have the privelage to be mis-understood and i surely have this privelage. U should always know wen to stand ur ground and wen to leave it else u will feel the heat burning you down...this is not philosophy, these are my tears, yeah the hypothetical ones.

Fear drives you to new places. Its good to have fear of something or the other. it makes your life simple. It answers ur queries and support ur stance. My biggest fears...i m afriad of even talking bout it.

These four years also taught me sumthing bout myself. I hate hypocrites. i cant stand them.

and ofcourse the best lesson of the 4 years - Life's a bitch...