My room lizard didn't show up today and am a bit worried about it...I find lizards creepy and cant stand them but anywayz this lizard and me go back together for four months. I remember 'The lizard' since the start of the semester and i used to hate it but yeah am such a scared soul i dont have it in me to run behind lizards and chase them away...Well then y am i going on for it and dat to on my blog? I realized i and 'The Lizard' (plz mention 'the', coz it hurts my sentiments if u label it just another one of the bunch) are emotionally connected now. We both live in abeyance of it more or less but yeah we are kind of good company for each other. Well all in all i hope 'the lizard' is safe.

Another funny thing - a girl called me up from Lucknow and here is the conversation with her....she said her name was Priyanka.

Priyanka - 'Hey, is this Ankit'.
me - (exited, wow am in demand) 'Yup and this is?'

Priyanka - 'This is Priyanka from Lko, remember?'
me - (after a long pause, no a very long pause and cursing my memory) 'Nopes'.

Priyanka - 'Hey cmmon, stop kidding'
me - (i wish i was kidding) 'Can you throw some light'

Priyanka - 'okie, LC ...Macfarland coaching...Arun's sister'
me - (now who the hell is Arun) 'ok, hi how r u?' (How can u still say u dont know)

Priyanka - 'am doing gr8...am in lko doing BLAH...BLAH...BLAH'.
me - (yes i have amnesia :x) 'thats nice, good'

Priyanka - 'so wats up at ur end'
me - 'BLAH...BLAH...(confidential) :D '

Priyanka - 'so wen r u coming back from mumbai....hey am sorry for watever happened a couple of years ago, i want to meet you...if that sounds alright'
me - (wat sumthing happened, wat, where, how @#@$@#$@&*&)
Priyanka - 'What r u thinking'
me - 'nothing, but am not in mumbai' (why, no i mean WHY did i say that)
Priyanka - 'what aren't u doing ur graduation from blah blah insti from mumbai'
me - 'no am doing it from another blah blah insti'
Priyanka - 'aren't you Ankit Das'
me - (got it, its not my memory...it is my luck) 'No, am Ankit Sethi'.
Priyanka - 'oh sorry, i guess i got the wrong number' (Call ended )

I am still depressed for being rejected just coz of my surname :( and yeah for my lizard too....

"Everything that existed, existed in a captured state. Animate or inanimate, everything wanted to be free. That's what the lights said; that was their secret. Wild lights in the night skies, and domesticated lights, right here on the street, they all told the same tale. It was so plain to see when you knew how to look. Didn't neon and streetlights yearn to be starlight?"

- Charles de Lint, Dreams Underfoot

@RAJAT

Sitting in the realms of the dead,
unfolding its scent when ever the door opens...
Sitting up from a dream when you find the rustic leaves,
You always thought its over and i asked you to wait,
When the winds carried us along to the hell of times,
I culdn't wait to be born kicking on the sides,
I dont think the world will understand as am imbecile....

The red door has been opened and it has been painted black....
The mist is heaving us but still the remarks stand,
I dont curse the lord coz i am still afraid,
the things which happened were for us to say....

The devil stood with us all the time,
Its surreal morning or its still the volcano's time,
Lost in space or lost in time as it always happens....
behold my hand and trust me, it will pass away,
as I am down,
Digging through my old muscles, still looking for a clue....

U made it dude....trust me no one culd be more happy than i am....
Love ya buddy!

Your Movie Buff Quotient: 96%

You are a movie buff of the most obsessive variety. If a movie exists, chances are that you've seen it. You're an expert on movie facts and trivia. It's hard to stump you with a question about film.

As if i didn't know....search for some good movie on my lan going on since 3 days.....and in the mean time i watched 'School Of Rock' again for the 3rd time....Forrest Gump for 5th and Goodfellas for 2nd; and after this blog will watch 'eternal sunshine of spotless mind' for the 7th time i suppose(YEAH its one of my favs, Charlie Kaufman is screenplay's god)...plz gimme a good movie someone which i am yet to see :(

little angel go away
come again some other day
the devil has my ear today
i will not hear a word you say...

In retrospection one can find all kind of emotions. It doesn't matter whether people u drowned are still alive what matters is how u come up with it. What course of sail will u follow for ur ship.
Am going to leave my college in just a month or so from now...Am i already feeling the things am going to miss, the things i missed or is this feeling of being void from inside comes out just like that. Another thought...another crash as i say.

Though these four years or so have been both blissful and painful. But, still I think it carried me a lot into the thinkers. Met all kind of people here sadists, optimistics, misogynist, emotional fools and etc etc....I still dont categorize myself just coz of the fact i still think am a mixture of many different phases from time to time or u can call me predictibly unpredictable guy.

Right now i feel something is going to be empty sonner or later. I remember my school farewell which i missed but even seeing the video made me sad. Well i follow everything to the last bell but still to be practical i can come up with zilch names to stand with again. It always happen.

Am i going to miss the college so much...NAH, ofcourse not, but thinking of the people i m going to sends a thunderstrike through my spine. Am not emotional enough, atleast this is what people tell me and i think they r wrong and this writing is a proof of that. To Cp ill miss u sumtimes coz our mode of comm will still be the same. To the fight club gang i will miss u all too just coz i spent the most astonishing time of my life with u. astonishing in the sense no body else culd have survived the punishment and we morons we transformed it into a crossroads of deeds...nice work guys and gals. that was the time wen i realized what it is to live with burden all the time. Yeah how can i forget the thinkers....u will be missed too.

The four years gave me a psychic power to some extent. Its always nice to have a sense of something bad to happen b4 hand, although in my cases it didn't do me any good but still...

When u need something badly u will get it mostly but as far as i go the things i wanted badly leave me at the earliest possible crash signs. It had a demonic effect on me. I became sober. Transformations are good and necessary else life is too baked to spend time with. Be it roses or thorns, u should have it in you to hate urself and change urself...irony is nobody gets what am talking bout...well its more of fresh water spring from the volcanoes.

I believe few have the privelage to be mis-understood and i surely have this privelage. U should always know wen to stand ur ground and wen to leave it else u will feel the heat burning you down...this is not philosophy, these are my tears, yeah the hypothetical ones.

Fear drives you to new places. Its good to have fear of something or the other. it makes your life simple. It answers ur queries and support ur stance. My biggest fears...i m afriad of even talking bout it.

These four years also taught me sumthing bout myself. I hate hypocrites. i cant stand them.

and ofcourse the best lesson of the 4 years - Life's a bitch...